The Beginning

As cliched as it may sound... the first step in changing is accepting that you want to change. I am here to make this happen. I have decided to put out a better life for myself... and well I'm going for it.

First- I have accepted that a lot things have been making me feel bad. They make me feel like a not so great person, even though they really aren't such bad things, but I have decided that they must go.

Part of this changing occurred because I wasn't a good enough person, that I was such a terrible person. I know that I am not perfect, but it seem that I was feeling like the worst person in the world. These feeling although really negative, helped make me realize that in order to be a better person, I have to make it happen and change. I want to be a better person. I don't want to think that people may have misunderstood me and thought I meant something mean when I spoke, because that is never what I intend. I try to be nice but the even the best of intentions can across incorrectly. Even if I did try to be nice I want to be even better than that. I want to the best person possible. I am going to change to make that happen.

TV- It was the first to go. I personally was a TV addict, but the more I watched the worse I felt, so I said it had to go. About a week ago I stopped, and it was hard, but if I can make it one week I can keep going.

GYM- I had heard that reducing negativity can help. It's better for me, and it can a person seem happier. I heard that going to the gym can improve you mood and eventually make you more positive, so I've started going. I am making goals, so I can achieve something. I am not going out of a concern for my weight, but rather so I can be in good physical condition. This is for me and not anyone else. I started going about two weeks ago. It started with just jogging 2 miles on the elliptical, but then I wanted to achieve more. I told myself I can and kept going. I hit 6.5 miles and then 7.5 miles on the elliptical in the past week, and I am going to keep going until I hit 10 miles and just keep going and going. I am going to make this happen.

ME- So I am not the most outgoing person, and I hate that. I want to be the positive person with the magnetic personality. I am making the goal for myself to start at least one conversation with someone every week. This may not seem like much, but generally, I wait for the other person to start, because I am afraid. But I will not be afraid anymore. I want to make this happen, so it will happen.

Other- I want to my work skills. i want to work harder than I have ever worked before, and I will make this happen. I will. I will dedicate myself to it completely.

Hopefully, things will change. I will update with progress. I will be a better version of myself.